My second-born girl takes hold of a pearly gem. With hazel eyes grinning, she drops it in a Mason jar ringed by a blue band of painter’s tape, six-year-old hearts and the words “J’s Joy Jar.”
Clink.
The peach-colored gem joins the turquoise and jade jewels that already line the jar’s bottom — each one representing an act or attitude of joy. Wide-open eyes and nods as little sister tells a story. A skip in her step while setting the table. A kind, forgiving word to big sister who accidentally kicks her leg. A dance with Papa as she puts toys in bins and folds fort blankets. Extra loving hugs and smiles when greeting Mama at school.
Ping.
Plunk.
Plink.
Over the last few weeks since beginning the joy jar project, these sounds have become my music.
J and I first discussed the jar over a coffee and hot cocoa date.
“When we pour out joy, it fills up our house with joy. When we pour out joy, we fill the world with joy. Your joy is a special gift to have inside, and it’s a special gift to pour out.”
My girl of pretend and sparkle and twirl stopped moving and listened intently.
“And when you fill up the jar to a certain line, we’ll have some sort of a reward to remind us that joy brings good things. What would you like that to be?”
She spoke strong and clear, without a hint of hesitation. “I want to go to the book store — the one with the coffee shop in it — with you and Papa. Just us. Not my sisters.”
We had a plan.
In the weeks since, we’ve certainly seen the occasional joyful act followed closely by, “Do I get a jewel?” or “How about four jewels? How about three?” But how different is this questioning from my own desire to be recognized for the good I’m doing? Humans, all of us.
This morning, hand pausing over the jar covered with her favorite letter, I see J hold the gems ready for plunking, perhaps recalling the act that brought the jewel to her hand in the first place, maybe excited to watch the jar fill. Whatever she sees, I know it’s new.
“Real treasures,” she says.
Sparkling treasures created not by sequins, but by glimmers made alive when joy-filled love and giving rain down from our hands.
Store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys, and where thieves do not break in and steal; for where your treasure is, there your heart will be also. Matthew 6:20-21 (NASB)

Your writing is exquisite! Your problem-solving (I’ve witnessed it over and over) – genius! These posts of yours, each one – plink – plunk – a jewel in my jar!!! Blessings Ashley. Joy!
So sweet! I can just see J and that smile on her face. :) P.S. I love the pictures on your blog.
I love this idea!! Excentuating the positive in your home and in J’s life so beautifully and so tangibly. You’re right, don’t we all want to be reminded of the beauty and the good we work to accomplish in life? Whether it’s a kind or encouraging word from a friend or one of our children, or the reward of a trip to starbucks after a rough morning, we all need a little pat to encourage and inspire us when it gets tough. “Everyone who competes in the games goes into strict training. They do it to get a crown that will not last, but we do it to get a crown that will last forever.” (1 9:25 NIV)
I love the idea too! I think I may try this, if I ever actually get around to finding a couple jars and some jewels or marbles or something. Pretty rocks might work too but would fill up faster. My older kids are going thru the “tween” years and not getting along and with major big attitudes and emotions. Maybe this would help teach them a lesson and maybe I’ll even put the Matt. 6 verse on the jar as a reminder of why we do this. I’m sure Cori and Jamie will also make this into a competition to see who gets the reward first, but if that causes them to be nicer to each other then, “Yay,” sounds good to me!
May the riches of Heaven be yours. Loved it
You are such a treasure, Ash!! I feel worn out and tattered by the week, but your words invigorate and I want to try this Joy jar with my girls…so sweet as that is my E’s middle name:-). This is such a good reminder to focus on the good in our little ones and not that bad stuff that can come out of them at times. I am savoring each of your posts and feel it is like a treat to get them. Blessings over you as you continue to write and work and feel your way through all of this. I’m devoted and signed up for good!!
your personal stories of family relations accompanied by bible verse are so well chosen and force me to be introspective and self-critical in matters of the heart and spirit. Thank you,Love, Papa
love it.