You live days when you feel your dreams won’t jostle their way free to soar, and it hurts because you remember when they were round and shiny in your hand, and you thought all things possible. And they had wings and flowy strings.
Now the blue sky beyond them teases like a maybe promise.
You see the bumper sticker “Remember Who You Wanted to Be,” and it makes you feel sick and hopeful at once.
You wonder how far you are from that person and ask yourself if who you wanted to be then is who you still want to become.
Maybe you’re becoming something better, different.
Becoming happens while you’re not looking, and it happens when you try and when you let go, and the Imaginary You that Young You dreamed of knew nothing about the myriad small cracks that would break your heart to fill.
Young You knew nothing of the twists and turns these dreams would take — the ways they’d be cast to the ground and crushed into a fine powder, mixed with something like grace that is making them new.
Sometimes you don’t recognize your dreams anymore, surrounded as you are by partially mixed concoctions and half-spoiled batches, and so you think they’ll never make it, or that you won’t. That they’re stuck, rotten, dead.
But Youngest You knew something that Now You is remembering, relearning:
This sky opening up to cast its warm glow of hope, it is daily miracle.
You live another day.
And your dreams, too.
Connecting through the power of stories written, spoken and lived
Oo Ashley, this post has set me to pondering. A bit sick-sorry and hopeful jumbled up, but mostly unanswered questions. Who did I dream, and who am I dreaming now? Your imagery so good – some dreams, the balloons that are snagged by the arms of trees – and others soar past to meet the clouds. You have me pondering dreams dear girl. thank you!!
You taught me to dream and ponder dreams, too, Mama. I love what you have to say about those images — thank you for giving them those words.
Ashley – is this the balloon stuck in Sabin’s tree? I wonder if that thing will EVER get free! :) Love your writing – and nice for me to see you putting it out there. Inspires me to just start writing… Maybe something as beautiful will result – ? I can dream…
Haha! It’s not, Barb, but I look at that all the time. Is it a kite?! Thanks so much for your encouragement in my writing. It does mean so much. Keep dreaming, lady. I can’t wait to see that book!
This is one of those days the depth of this worked on so many levels. Discouraged and a bit foggy – remembering Christ has a plan for me….while trying to seek WHO I am in the midst of it all. Thank you.
Thank you, Tiffany. Praying right now for you on this journey. Don’t give up hope, sister.
well done Ashley…
Thanks, Chris.
Is it not more exciting to still be working on one self, to dream of ones future rather than to ruminate about another life? Existentialism at work.
Good point, Pops.
I love this hope filled message.
Thank you, Deb — and for all your encouraging comments. Hope in abundance be yours today!