On the cusp of spring, night inky, I joined the world black and blue, into the hard light of a Seattle hospital.
Big and round body, eyes on their way brown. My mama, gaze warm and hair long, ached to hold me, touch me.
It was an amazing day, my papa says.
A girl, I deep loved and felt pain for the poor and lonely, wept when misunderstood and called nearly everyone friend.
I sparkled sun from beneath shadows, carried sorrow in my pocket next to music.
This morning, I am 38, and my Mama will bring me tulips in coral and pink, leaves rimmed white. She will put them in vases, find lovely places for them.
You have always been like spring to me, my papa says.
Today, all day words will pour love. I will feel treasured, seen, grateful.
And I will hold this cusp of spring time close because it is me.
The darkness knows its way through my heart, my bones, my mind. I’ve felt it and held it, and I know that place tender, waiting winter, not speaking.
But I know deep the dark readies to birth color, days beginning spring stretch toward bright bursting glory shine.
We suffer cold dark and slow, but the fire of coral joy, it is coming.
I know it in my bones.

Happy joyous birthday, my bright and sunny springtime girl! You are the sun and stars and moon, the tulips’ pale petal silk, and the tenderest of all hearts! How i bless this day! With such love for you, your mama
Happy Birthday, sweet friend!! May you feel His warmth and light in your 38th year and always. So happy you were born…thank you, Antoinette and Pete!!! What a gift you gave the world (and me:-).
Nancy
Nancy, what a gracious and warm thing to say. You certainly are in my memories growing up and being such a true friend to Ashley and continuing this genuine relationship today. Have a great year! Warm regards, Pete
I am so touched.. more later, Happy Birthday you incredibly glorious daughter.
spring is my favorite season of all….how perfect for your life to bloom in it. it is so hopeful, fresh and colorful. you represent it well! your heavenly father created someone so precious.
Beautiful words – and evidence of a lifetime of knowing just how loved you are! Happy Birthday!!
Love your reflections of spring, beauty and growth. Happy Birthday, Happy Spring!
Everyone has echoed the words that I have, but God gave you to us for a reason, and that reason is so evident! I love you, Ashley. Auntie Claudia
So thankful for your life and perspective Ashley…what a gift your 38 years of life have been and continue to be to your family, friends, community, and the world (as you spread the love of Jesus through your writing and your life)! Love you and hope it’s a special day!
Happy Birthday to a daughter-in-law who has the magic of words and loves all those around her. Mom
How could I ever forget this day. I had the privilege and honor to be there. Your Mom and I practiced our Lamaze technique frequently…..breathe…breathe…breathe. I was so excited that I almost lost it. Your arrival brought immeasurable joy and gratefulness. We adored you, your good nature and model ‘babyhood’.. As the years have past nothing has changed. I am so blessed and cherish you. May this time never end. HAPPY BIRTHDAY! i love you, Papa
What a wonderful description of the birth of a wonderful woman! You and your mother must have such a special and wonderful relationship.. I see it on your blogs when you write to each other!! Have a magical birthday!! Celebrate!!
Happy birthday (wish I had gotten on the computer yesterday!). You and my Mom (84) share the same birthday :-) Dani & Ania (8) are with her on their spring break before heading to New York. I felt joy reading your reflections and the glimpse of you as a girl. To see who you have become . . . quite wonderful! You’ve always reminded me of your Mom, and I see similarities again and again in your writings. Draw Near is an integral part of my life. I read everything & appreciate your insights, whether or not I respond.
p.s. loved the photo of the tulips (another similarity of yours & your Mom’s – beautiful photography)
I must confess, Deb. This is one of my mom’s. Her copyright is actually super tiny in the bottom left corner. I figured if there was any time I could use one of her photos, instead of taking my own (as I always do), it would be on my birthday. She gave me permission, I needed a little break, and no one photographs flowers like she does! :)
Thank you dear family and friends for all your beautiful words. I treasured each one of your comments, and they added to the joy of my birthday. Thank you for all the ways you are light and grace to me.