He is a 6 pound, 13 ounce flannel burrito and feels like blessed air in my arms.
His dark brown hair peeks from a tiny yellow beanie, and closed eyelids dance dreams.
I feel his hands and their thin skin, and I stroke his chin, and I tell him he is our special boy, that he is loved, that we are so glad he is here.
Our hearts are balloons now that he is here.
His fingers are magic, they are so tiny and those nails. How can they be so small?
His lips pucker and tongue thrusts, rehearsing in sleep the drinking and swallowing of life that comes from mama. The one who makes his head slowly turn and his charcoal blue eyes work to focus.
He knows her.
I feel his warmth in my arms in this folding hospital room chair, and I am with my babies again. Their fuzzy backs and their breathing and their eyes that seemed always locked on mine.
They know me.
I feel nephew bundle in my arms, and my lids close long, and I hear his noises like small birds and remember, but can hardly believe my girls made the same little noises in the backs of their throats and noses, using parts of their faces they no longer need to communicate.
I imagine my brain is a voice recorder that can hold each bird tweet and small-tongued gurgle so I won’t forget because I remember how quickly they move from these sounds to zhheeee and aba-baba.
I know I am a burrito boy-bird hog, holding this baby as many minutes as I can until someone asks for a turn, but I just don’t want to forget the way he feels and the way he sounds today.
Face shifting hour by hour, and his voice too. Love instrument breaking from the folds into the air filled with balloons.
This piece is a free-writing exercise for a Tuesday feature called “Just Write,” hosted on The Extraordinary Ordinary. I participate on weeks when the mood strikes.
Connecting through the power of stories written, spoken and lived
This an ode to baby-boy-burrito-joy, a love letter from one who knows, from one who doesn’t miss a teeny peep, the many tiny turns of lips, nor a single eyelash. Such a beautiful piece, Ashley! xoxo
So thankful to be able to share these first moments with you, Mama.
Beautiful piece! I also just welcomed a nephew and held him in his little burrito at the hospital as long as I could, marveling that my own kids were ever so small.
Thank you so much for your comment! We know our own are growing, but there is something so powerful about the way we are transported when we hold a dear wee one in our arms again. Gratitude, wonder, wistfulness…ah. Enjoy your nephew!
I love your descriptions of these amazing moments with the little baby boy. It takes me way back to when my boys were little. Pure joy. It’s really the definition of the word. My 22 month old granddaughter brings back a lot of those special moments.
Thank you, Uncle Ralph! So great to see you here. It really is amazing, as you say, how the new babies bring us back to the days when our own were so little — no matter how many years ago, I gather. Enjoy your precious granddaughter and the pure joy!
Your words, your memories, they warm this mama’s heart. They remind me to cherish every moment, every movement, every sound, every breath. This is the way I want to live my life.
These words are making their way to pretty little paper and frame. Burrito boy is blessed to call you auntie!!! I love you!
Oh, Sissy. Thank you for your words. Give that little burrito boy and his lovable, smoochable big sister and brother kisses from their Auntie. Miss them, and you! So happy you are Auntie to our girls, too. What gift.
Ahhhh so beautiful!! Newborns are so delicious to watch. Your family is wonderful.
Thank you so much for your comment, Fiona. Delicious — what a perfect word. We are indeed grateful.
The love you express in this post for your nephew is so beautiful. But you beautifully wove the love you have for Ali, your girls, motherhood, God and family. The newness of life is something so quiet and sacred yet so joyful and celebratory. And it seems like the magic of something so new, so recently sent from Heaven slips away minute by minute. What I wouldn’t give to know how fast it goes, to hold my girls in that sacred space again. Beautiful post, dedicated to a little boy who hit the Jackpot when it comes to his parents and family.
Oh Amy, thank you so much for your words. How you’ve captured in your comment the nature of these moments — so uniquely quiet and joyous at once. Nothing like this sacred space, as you say. May we continue to cup in our hands each beautiful, everyday, ordinary, sacred moment with our young ones. Blessings to you and your family!
Everyone has written the words for me.. beautiful poetic writing today and such a gloriously handsome baby boy!!
Thank you, Smidge! Isn’t he a looker? :)
Oh, my goodness.. he’s just such a perfect little sweetheart!!!
Beautifully described! Delight and sheer happiness is what I feel. I am thankful and grateful for his health. I am elated that this precious little bundle has joined this loving and energitic family. Welcome sweet little gift of joy.
Delight, gratitude, elation, joy — yes! So happy to share that treasured time with you, Papa.
Precious words, precious baby, precious family
So thankful you were able to be there to greet this fresh, seeet Burrito Boy…what a blessing to your family he will be!
Me, too. What a joy that was to be able to dote on him and my sister. He is a blessing! :)