It’s Friday, and I’m meeting up with the community of Five Minute Friday at the Gypsy Mama for some free writing. Here are the rules: follow the prompt, no extreme editing, write for five minutes flat and encourage the person who linked up just before you. Would you like to join?
Today’s word is GRASP.
We grasp straws, grasp for meaning, grasp for that thing falling past like an autumn leaf. We grasp onto our stuff, grasp for the people we love, scared of what will happen if we let go.
I grasp for control.
I am needy, horribly out of my comfort, and the house is dirty, and I am sitting with fear, all the while typing and trying to move forward as if. As if everything is ok, as if I’m not afraid.
And I want him to know what to do. Tell me, I’ve got this and It will all work out and I don’t know what. You’re amazing, or something?
Maybe I just want him to sit with me and know what I need, and then give it to me. Is that so difficult?
He’s here, but he’s got his own processes, his own work, and some of it involves budgets and deadlines, and he’s working so hard, and I can’t squish between the numbers, and I’m not really saying what I need.
Because I don’t really know. I flail, use grand gestures and major pronouncements, talk in circles, and I probably just need to take hold of his hand and say I feel scared. Can I have a hug?
Maybe I need to open my arms for grace because clutching doesn’t leave space for the gift to land.
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Yes, yes, yes, yes…ask for what you need! Men just don’t think like women…and your needs are very important! You are important! You deserve a hug..and so much more!
Michelle, thank you so much for your dear comment. When I’m feeling especially needy/vulnerable…it seems sometimes I’m less likely to ask for what I need. Maybe it’s then that I’m less able to even know what that is, or I feel more childlike and find it harder to locate my voice. Is that just me? My husband is such a great encourager and the dearest man. (See my piece on 9/20 on his birthday. :-) ) But, he can’t be my everything. I appreciate your encouragement today, Michelle. Hugs and affirmation right back atcha.
I love that notion of “clutching not allowing for the gift to land”. Just beautiful. Glad you linked up with Five Minute Friday!
Thank you so much for your comment today!
I can definitely relate to the wanting to be in control. Wanting to know the outcome. “And I want him to know what to do. Tell me, I’ve got this and It will all work out.” Great writing on the prompt.
Thanks so much, Jamie. I really appreciate your comment and am glad to know I’m not alone in this control stuff. Appreciate you stopping by!
you amaze me. Loved the open arms for Grace. I love you!
Thank you, Auntie. I love you!
I grasp for life. It is fleeting. My grip is getting weaker as each day passes by. My dreams and fleeting desires are slipping through my hands. I grasp, clutch, hold tightly, but the stream of life pulls everything away. Constantly looking to the past . . . looking to the future, I miss what is right in front of me. The gifts of God. My children and beautiful wife. My loved ones – nieces and nephews. My community of sojourners, walking through this life, and encouraging me with the ancient words of truth: Whoever finds his life will lose it, but he who loses his life for My sake will find it. . . Finally, I allow peace to wash over me, and I let go of my grasp. My hand cramps as I open it up and raise it to the sky. As I let go, I find freedom, and joy, and peace. All of the cares of this world flow by me in this stream of life, and I stand, hands stretched out to the sky, and allow God to grasp my heart. Love consumes me. I am free.
Dominic, I so loved this. As I said on Facebook, I am beyond glad that you took the prompt and ran with it. What profound truth here. I definitely relate to that hand cramping up as I raise it to the sky. A struggle until the very moment after we have released our grip. Then the freedom, joy and peace….this is beautiful. Thank you for joining in! You blessed me today.
I can relate, & am so thankful HE is there & is the one who is in control!
Amen to that, girl!
Oh Ashley, I can see myself sitting, flailing, and questioning right alongside you. Have been in this place so much and wanting control? Well, that’s something I always struggle with. Thanks for being so real. Praying God meets you in this place with peace.
Thank you, Alia. I value your transparency and authenticity as you walk this life. Maybe we can spaz out (you, me and Fiona) and then give each other a hug (wait, are you not a hugger? :-)) and say “you’re amazing, it’s going to be ok.” I will always struggle with this too, but there’s beauty in the struggle, right? Feeling anxiety, worry, control allow me to recognize the difference when I unclutch that hand and receive the Peace that passes all understanding.
I love this.
Thank you for your comment. Bless you today.
Wow. Thank you for sharing so much of your heartfelt thoughts with us. When I read about your experiences, it feels familiar, empowering, and reassuring. Thank you again for sharing the raw, confusing feelings we must all have. I hope that you are able to find your way back to your place of peace soon.
PS Is there any way to bump this prompt up to 10 min.? I so always want to hear more! :)
Thank you, sweet e. Truly, it makes me feel overjoyed to know that my thoughts and experiences would resonate…and I’m so glad for the ways we all feel not alone, seen and encouraged when we receive glimpses into other’s pain. It’s an amazing beauty from ashes thing, isn’t it? I appreciate your encouragement. Yeah, maybe 10 Minute Wednesdays — there’s an idea. :-)
That last line – wow. Just wow.
Thank you, friend.
Dang, yes this is good. I have lived that hard graspy middle ground and asking instead for a hug – asking it straight out instead of sighing about it – is always the better choice!
Lisa-Jo, thank you so much for your comment. Yes, the hard graspy middle ground…that’s so it. Gotta keep reminding myself to reach out for the love I need — it is good.