It isn’t the name I would have chosen for him. It hardly seems right for a horse so powerful and majestic, so noble. Don’t you see, this horse is descended from the great racer Man o’ War?
He deserves a strong Biblical name or one of a mighty ruler — Augustus, Tiberius, Cassius.
But his brother’s name is Patches, and he answers to Billy. And Billy’s mine.
The horse brothers live on my Big Papa’s dairy farm with the pea-brained guinea hens, the Shetland ponies, the prize brahma bull and all the cows with their long lashes.
My Billy is beautiful. He’s got a strong body painted the colors of whole milk and dark chocolate, his tail is completely brown. He holds his head up high, his back is straight.
Sometimes I use a saddle like I did when I was little and first learned to ride him, but my favorite is bareback when I feel the ripple of his strength under me, and there’s nothing in the way of us.
We race together through the sandy meadows, and I smile so wide I can barely close my mouth, and I know I am loved and strong because I’m with Billy. When we grow tired, we wind through the wood trails together, his breath a hush-hush in my ear. I am holding carrots, apples, sometimes sugar cubes in my pockets. Billy loves when I feed him, and I hug him and feel his muzzle soft like a pillow.
I tell him my stories. He understands.
Billy smells sweet like hay and earth and sweat. I could hold this in my nose always.
When we aren’t together, I remember my horse’s smell and the way he lets me nuzzle close, and it reminds me what it feels like to be wanted, to be chosen.
With Billy, I am small, but in a good way because I know I am his.
In my dreams, I am checking his hooves for pebbles, combing his tail. We are walking and talking. We are racing and laughing. He is protecting me in his spotted sides, his mane.
Billy is looking right into my eyes, and he sees me.
Deepest heartfelt thanks go to my dear mama who told me in words dripping love the story of her childhood friend. Thank you, Mama, for letting me tell yours and Billy’s story. The photograph here is hers (simply stunning talent she’s got).
Amber Haines of The Runamuck, is leading an exploration of voice in writing, in which we use concrete words to express the abstract. I’ve been deeply blessed by grace in that space. This week’s story began with the prompt “THE HORSE.”
Connecting through the power of stories written, spoken and lived
Thank you Ashley for the lovely rendering of a girl’s memories! As anyone who’s loved a horse would say, nothing in life has compared to that euphoric sense of freedom and oneness I knew with Billy. That being said, to have a true relationship with Any other creature is to open oneself to something of the miraculous and bless-ed! Thank you again Ashley for giving my long-lost pony life. xxoo
Thank you so much, Mama, for trusting me with your story. It was such a delight for me to enter into that part of your life through your eyes. To understand your connection with animals and to stand in that place of the glorious mystery of being known and loved. Love you!
Very lovely! My “Horse Friend’s” daughter ;)
Thanks, Kelly. :)
Love all of this. Especially, “Billy smells sweet like hay and earth and sweat. I could hold this in my nose always.”
How wonderful that this is your mama’s story. Beautiful tale…and such universal truth within it.
Thank you, friend. I loved being able to tell this story from my mama’s perspective and explore in a new way the love of God, represented for my mama through this treasured companion.
Absolutely visual, as you describe it. I feel like I have seem a movie of my beloved sister of the heart and her horse. I love you both so much!
Thank you, Auntie! Wouldn’t this story of hers be a wonderful movie? Some of my favorites as a child were about children and their horses…something in those tales tapped a deep place in me. Now I know a little more why.
Claudia- I was thinking exactly the same! Ashley, you painted a movie of Ani’s connection with Billy. So evoking were your words, I had trouble seeing them for the pictures created! Lovely girl, more please
Thank you, Don! I kinda saw it that way as I wrote. I think there’s at least a part 2 to this story.
I love the stuffed pockets and private conversation! And yes, stunning photograph. How wonderful to use your talent to preserve history and bless your family.
Thanks so much for your kind words, Allison. Grateful my sister and I, and our kids, will have this story of my mama’s childhood.
“Billy is looking right into my eyes, and he sees me.” Isn’t this what we all most want–to see & be seen? To feel utterly safe and Real in another’s presence, to love without barriers/conditions–to have nothing in the way.
Ah…the beauty of this is almost too much. Thank you for showing me what Love is today, Ashley, Billy, Ashley’s mom. Thank you.
Thank you, my friend, for these beautiful observations. And in seeing and being seen, don’t we then feel such freedom? I was utterly grateful to be able to tell this love story. Much much love to you!
You are a rich story teller, word weaver and dream spinner. I see, smell and feel as you unroll and unfurl…. words. Beautiful.. just so rich. I love this series and this little group at Amber’s. It delights my soul and so do you, friend.
Thank you, dear Elizabeth. I am so grateful for our group, too…it’s brought me such joy and allowed me to get to know you and your words. Gift.
Thanks so much for sharing this story from your Mom’s childhood as it so vividly brought me back to my childhood of horses with your descriptions of sights, smells, & feelings! The first horse I had that deep connection with was “Hotshot”, a chestnut colored Morgan on which I first truly learned to ride….Lydia & I spent hours riding “bareback” in the field while playing imaginary games. Good memories of which I so often forget (thanks for helping me relive them)!
Becca, I loved reading your memories of you and Hotshot! Thank you for sharing the gift of your re-living…you bareback on your horse, you and your sister, playing pretend — time in the fields with your friend. Thank you, sweetheart.
Oh wow. This was so well-written that it totally had me convinced that horse-riding could be pleasurable (which, from reading mine, you’ll know is quite a tribute to the quality of the writing!)
I love the tone here, it sounded like a lovingly slow-recounted tale by the fire with a wistful twang. It really does drip with love. The photo is beautiful too – 100% majestic.
Loving linking up with you via Amber!
So glad to have met you through our link-up! Tanya, you are so darling…I loved your story of the horse, too, and was amazed at what truth can come from all of these very different tales — all beginning with the very same prompt. “Lovingly slow-recounted tale by the fire with a whistful twang”…wow, thank you.
You’ve completely captured the feeling.. and my attention. I always love reading your writing, Ashley!
Smidge, thank you!
This was refreshing. I think it was great that your mom “wrote” this. Such a great memory handed down and you will cherish that one day. I love reading your links from Amber’s. :-)
Happy to have provided refreshment, Amber…really. It brought me such joy to hear my mama’s words and tell her story. Grateful that we’ll all have this memory of hers for years to come.
I linked with Amber too and found my way here today. So glad to be here. You paint a beautiful picture within this memory. I had a green puppet named Billy that I adored. I whispered lots of dreams into all that green fur in my own childhood days. :)
Danelle, whispered dreams in green fur…I love that. Thank you for sharing your own Billy memories, and thank you for coming by. I’ve enjoyed getting to know this little #concretewords community.
Told with so much love and charm. A most beautiful memory from your amazing Mama’s life.
Thank you, Papa.
Yours and your Mama’s writing styles make a story go straight to the heart and soul, this one no exception. Thank you for sharing in such a special way, such a special one of your Mama’s, and for including the great photograph of Billy :-)
Thanks so much, Deb. I have always loved my mom’s stories and am relishing hers of Europe. I felt grateful that she’d trust me with this tale dear to her heart.
Dear Ashley
Sooo…. beautiful! I brings back sweet memories of my childhood on my father’s farm. I had a big white horse called Vonk and can remember the holiness of the time spent with him. That complete trust and friendship between us are sadly lacking in so many human relationships and I am so glad that our Lord Jesus is coming back to restore all the enemy of our souls has ruined through his deceptions! Thanks again for visiting my blog. It was so nice looking to your dashing, beautiful smile.
Lots of love
Thank you, Mia, for your comments and for sharing about your own Vonk — “the holiness of the time spent with him…that complete trust and friendship.” Such gifts. Happy to have met you through Amber’s.