Once upon a time I despised the word ordinary.
Ordinary reeked of boredom, that droning day tagged onto the next and the next.
Ordinary smacked of insult. Nearly so bad as homely or forgettable.
Over these eleven years of life at home with young children, I’ve sometimes relished in the everyday sweetness and other times near drowned in the repetition of my ordinary. The sink full, the counter piles, the lunches to make, the tantrums, feeling that I might be swallowed up by the mundane.
And the tapes that ran through my head as I moved about my repeating tasks — those felt ordinary, too. The ones that questioned my value, my parenting, my accomplishments.
My ordinary might not be the same as yours.
The daily pilgrimage to your job at a desk in front of the glowing screen. Or the cup of coffee and walk to begin. Or another morning in which you don’t want to rise from your bed and put on that knapsack of burdens.
Your tapes might be different, too. Maybe laced with more measures despair, fear or apathy.
Yesterday I talked on the phone with my papa, and we spoke of our old ordinaries of anxiety, perfectionism and regret and the joy that comes in replacing them. With new habits of gratitude and casting eyes up and seeing the light flood in to the present moment, and those ways of seeing become ordinary through the repetition.
And that feels like a small miracle. Anything but ordinary. The very same reality with entirely new songs playing in the background.
Joining up again today with the Five Minute Friday community of friends over at Lisa-Jo‘s where we write for five minutes, refrain from extreme editing and encourage one another freely. Today began with the prompt: ORDINARY. Would you like to join us?
Connecting through the power of stories written, spoken and lived
Beautiful Ashley! It is true there is magic in the ordinary – for these are the things that shape our lives. A lovely read this Friday!
Thank you, Shira. I love what you say — yes, it’s the ordinary that shapes our lives, and that’s where the real magic happens. :)
So well written, thank you. You’re so right that perfection and anxieties can rob the ordinary of it’s magic.
Thanks so much for your presence here, Rach. That has sure been my experience — always looking to what is not (either through perfectionistic thinking or fear of the future) robs the what is of its joy. I’m growing in my ability to recognize the gift of this present moment. Blessings!
One thing I have noticed about getting older is my love for ordinary has increased greatly. Despite the mundane chores that I do day after day, I love the routine of it all. I am so happy to have what might be considered to be a boring, ordinary life. Once you realize how lucky you are to have just that, everything changes.
This is really true of me, too, Julia. I never thought I would get to this place when our kids were really young, but as I moved around the house yesterday, doing everyday tidying, cleaning and loads of laundry, I was feeling so peaceful and content. And when I think of all those who would love to experience the mundane rather than their life’s pain, circumstances or chaos, I feel all the more grateful.
Oh how I love the places you take me with you prose. Extraordinary indeed.
Thank you for always being such an encouragement to me, dear Elizabeth.
i echo what julia said….i am LOVING the simple of life..the ordinary. a good meal, a good book, fresh air, a hug, going to the movies, hot coffee, being able to pay a bill, a good night sleep and time with close friends :) our weekend together was full of those simple things that all added up to be magnificent!!!! loved our ordinary time together…it was life giving. smoooooooooooooooooch!
ahhh Kindy, I love this! I miss you dear girl!
You are right, my friend. Some of these simplest pleasures are the very best. And our weekend together — I agree. I was thinking about it and realizing we hardly did anything “special” or out of the ordinary, but it couldn’t have been more life-giving. I felt filled clear up. Grateful for you, buddy.
Great post. Ordinary can be excitingly Extraordinary. I enjoyed visiting you today. I am your neighbor at the linky today. I wrote too. I am following you now and getting your posts in my email too. It was very nice meeting you.
Have a wonderful weekend,
Sherry
Hi Sherry! It was great to meet you through FMF and visit your place in the blogosphere, too. Thanks for being here and for your follow. That means a lot!
Oh, dear Ashley…how alike we are.. When we get together for this splendid date we have set, we must talk about this word. I have spent much of my life pushing away the ordinary, so much fear wrapped around ending up typical/forgotten–ordinary.
Thinking about it right now, I see that my fear was (and is) much more to do with being un-alive, un-awake, numb to life. I have so much more to say on this…will have to wait for our time together.
Your writing (you) breathes life into me, my friend. Oh, how beautiful you are to me.
Happy March! Happy Friday!
I cannot wait to talk with you more about “ordinary,” dear Julia. That being forgotten and typical…being unawake to life — I can relate to all of this. Thank you for your words. I always treasure them. So happy it’s March! I get to see you this month!
Dear Ashley
Oh, how often we feel so unimportant for just being a mommy and a wife. You know, the stay at home type! But it is just a big lie. I always remind myself that our Lord Jesus’ mom was also just a housewife! There was a time when I could easily be intimidated by successful career women, but thankfully I have come to realize that they also don’t have it all together.
Much love, sweet friend
Mia
None of us do have it together, but all of us seem to compare ourselves negatively to those experiencing another kind of life when times are difficult or just feel so boringly common. Over the years, I certainly have become more grateful for the ordinary. All those gifts of my own everyday. Thank you for your thoughts, dear Mia. xoxo
Ashley, I love the way the repetition of the ordinary, over years, forms a rhythm and a pattern that we come to treasure. I so appreciate that this has happened for you! I have the sweetest picture of you walking around your house, “tidying” and feeling a soft and easy contentment in the familiar tasks, the “nothing-special”, the “same old”. I appreciate that you pointed out that our “thinking” can become ordinary, in the not-so-pleasant sense. It seems that to transform an experience from humdrum to one of quiet happiness only requires a slight shift in perspective, and the willingness to Be where we Are.
You captured that in this line:
With new habits of gratitude and casting eyes up and seeing the light flood in to the present moment, and those ways of seeing become ordinary through the repetition.
Yes, like you say, that in itself a bit of a miracle!
Thanks for this post…and i love the sweet photo.
Thank you for your reflections here, Mama! I love how well you see my heart in this. And how I agree — that shifting our perspectives makes all the difference in our ability to be in and savor the ordinary. The savoring seems to be where the gifts of the common become extraordinary and where the new jumps out afresh, those miracle gifts. I love you.
I love the idea of new songs playing in the background. I think I’ll carry that along with me for the next time I’m in a real rut. Sometimes having the perfect image in your back pocket is all it takes to reframe one of those boringly ordinary days…and thanks to you, Ashley, I think I’m all set. Thank you for sharing your thoughts.
Oh, how I love the metaphor that fits just right. I’m so grateful to help you find yours today. Today, your post title “My inner Mary is dehydrated” gave me the little somethin’ somethin’ I needed to figure out where I am, so thank you for that.
Beautiful post Ashley! This week I was reflecting on my thankfulness for some of the “ordinary” in life & really the privilage of primarily being a stay-at-home mom whose days are often filled with the ordinary! :)
Ain’t that the truth? So good to remember that this ordinary is the stuff of the heart miraculous. Thank you, friend.
Yes! New habits of gratitude – the key to busting out of your ordinary. So awesome, and so thankful for this ordinary life.
Ann Voskamp’s One Thousand Gifts was so transformational for me in creating that new habit of gratitude. Thank you, Tresta.
Oh, I love this… how ordinary becomes sacred and treasure and mystery. How old habits are replaced with new ones – like gratitude – and these becoming ordinary, over time, transform what it means to be ordinary. You continue to amaze and bless me with your gift of prose and your keen eye that sifts through to find the treasures in life, friend.
Amber, thank you for hearing my heart and encouraging me in these discoveries. I love you.
Your last sentence summed it up most perfectly!
Hope I can get back into 5minfri again next week.
Cheers,
Leah
It’s been a joy getting to know you through FMF.