This circle is bigger than the circumference of these shoulders touching, these fingers scratching backs, these glasses of wine and red vines and smiles thrown from one side of the room to the other.
This circle is greater than the sum of lunches in the upstairs linoleum hall, the theme nights, the trips to camp and the sleepovers with Dutch babies and chocolate chip pancakes in the morning.
This circle is fuller than the years between us — from second and third grade classrooms to the high school gym and college dorm rooms and first meetings of full cheeked babies.
We sit in a large circle that extends from the floor to a huge sectional and back again, in the basement of a mid-century house in a hip part of the city, the house of a brother of our friend who’s cleared out for the weekend so we can find a place to crash together. And we have thanked him by clogging the plumbing and taking a sweaty yoga class on his carpet and filling every room with laughter that rolls like waves. (And, lest you worry, with a payment of the plumber’s bill and some nice wine, too.)
We’ve barely left the house, with the exception of a few walks and lunch out, and now, Sunday after the Oscars, as is our tradition after dishing on the dresses and eating too much junk, we pray.
The first year, we told about places in need of touch and each person prayed for every other person, and one of us kept dozing off, and though it was very good, you certainly can’t keep up that sort of (four hour) thing with ten to fifteen women each year, so this is an abbreviated version. We learn things.
We move around the circle, and we share, and just one sweet soul prays for one (and that one friend of sleepy years past stays awake), and we join in with head nods and hearts agreeing yes.
For many over the years, this has been where they’ve shared the hardest stuff. To those who’ve known you since, to those who knew you when you still, to those you know will love you anyway…. So after hours of talking over the weekend, new pieces, new pains, new joys still pour on out.
This circle extends to others who could not join this night, this group brought together through girlhood friendships and their bridges to the pains and losses of adulthood.
This circle gathers in the very basement where two years ago, I first read what I’d written out loud, knowing that my words were not just for me, but to share, and my friends said, write, girl, write.
And this year, among the requests and hurts, our circle is alive with thanks. I sit amazed by the healing and joy and confidence in identities that are alive like full-bloomed flowers, and the fragrance is beautiful.
We gather not because we are something intrinsically special, but because we are bound together by the love of Jesus Christ. It’s true. There’s no other way to explain it.
We enjoy the simple things together. We cry and laugh so hard our heads feel like they might float off our bodies. We encourage one another to embrace husbands and children with renewed love. We hear dreams and struggles and spur each other on to extend what we’ve been given to others.
We are filled up in this circle and then we go back home — back to the other side of the country, to the bordering states, to the old house on the other side of town — and we remember this love that envelops us, and we live our lives and keep trying to give this circle love away because it just doesn’t end.
Linking up today with Just Write at The Extraordinary Ordinary.

What a lovely gift of friendship and love you have! It’s a miraculous thing for sure!
What a special time with dear & encouraging friends who share your history! So happy you have this yearly time together. :)
Truly beautiful…and I’m fortunate to say, familiar.
Kim, thank you. Yes, it is rare and a tremendous gift I never take for granted.
Dear Ashley
Your circle of friends coming together with your love for our sweet Lord the uniting factor, is what Christianity is about. Pappa’s children having a good time together bringing Him honor! Priceless! I wish I could join you with your next get together!
This touched my heart deeply, thank you.
Much love
Mia
I’d love to sit with you face to face, dear Mia. These friendships are such sweet glimpses of the perfect intimacy we’ll one day know in full.
i feel so loved by Him that i am in this circle of friends. He drew me in back when i was a freshman in high school. not even knowing that i needed all of you….He knew it. He knew that i would need you now…. and look how He keeps giving to me through the love of my friends. i too sat there two years ago in that basement not knowing that the next week my dad would be diagnosed….look how we have been stretched more than we could have imagined!! seriously, ash. and look at the overflowing, glowing, rays of HIS goodness that has come from our circle of prayer this year…out of being stretched and uncomfortable… and that we get to share in it and sit quietly together and see how He walks with us through it all.
Wow, my friend. Your words leave me speechless. Beyond grateful for you. I love you.
I agree with what Kindz said … so much goodness, so much love. I appreciate you girls “adopting” me into the circle nearly 20 years ago now. What a GIFT. Thanks for capturing our time so well, Ash. Love you, friend! xoxo
Love you, Maglets! Can’t imagine our friendships without you. xoxo
That you and your friends have maintained this closeness, for ALL these years, strikes me as one of Life’s sweetest pleasures, and one of God’s greatest gifts. It seems to me a bit of a miracle…having known nothing quite like it myself. I’m so deeply grateful Ashley that you (and they) have this forever-place of safety, this place of being known for nearly all your lives by one true and loyal company of friends…somehow it reminds me of the Host of Angels we read of. Such sweet blessedness!
Oh yes, I have girlfriends like this. We live in different states now and try to find time together twice a year. We have so much fun its not uncommon for a stranger to ask to join us. And we pray hard, and love each other harder. Lovely write.
Twice a year — what fun, Shelly! Thank you for sharing with me here. Truly a blessing — these kinds of heart connections.
I just think, “holy, holy, holy,” dear friend – because that’s what this is. I’m blown away by the sweetness of this gift in your life, so thankful, with you, that you have this. That you all have this. And that this is the kind of community, the kind of circle, that God imagined for all of us to live in – and here, you are living out a taste of it.
Hope you came back from your time rested, Ash. Can’t wait for my turn to spend time with you in a few weeks. It has been so long, but how fun that God has circled us back together.
Cannot wait to see you! :)
Girl, I am glad they said write girl write because you bless girl, you bless. This is so full of love and grace. And your beautiful mark is on every line. Thanks for faithfully using your gift.