I know that someday I will look over these years of child raising and adult growing and see the quilt of who we’ve all become.
The this that lead to that. The intense dark pattern alongside the breezy light. The piece that seemed so random leading to that thing which became passion and song.
It might be like the view from the plane — the through-the-clouds patchwork of farms cut through with stream threads. The green and the brown, the rutted rows making such sense from above like, of course you would be placed right there and aren’t you lovely?
Right now in the middle, I can get caught up in the loose thread, want to yank it or tuck it in before its time. I worry about that character issue, that unraveling and the places where the fabric pulls, and I want to make sure I’m doing my job right.
Some days I’m focused on the working dirt under nails and all the planting still to be done. Other moments the tenderness, fragrance and silkiness of growing things nearly bring tears for their beauty.
One daughter and I have another intense boundary-pushing discussion — she’s growing into that age where I suspect this will be happening more often — and I check my heart and footing and wonder what stories she’ll tell about this woman called mama.
The girls laugh in the dark of their bedroom, and I wonder what kind of friends they’ll be one day.
Michael and I talk after the kids go to bed and tell the truth and try to plan wisely and wonder about days ahead.
There’s a view we don’t know, and it’s made of the unseen and it’s called faith, and there’s the right here today made up of the sewing and sowing, the planting and gathering, the being and seeing, the listening and working. Doing the next thing we know, even when we can’t see how it’s going to turn out.
As I do most Fridays, I’m linking with Lisa-Jo Baker and the Five Minute Friday community. Join us? Today’s prompt is VIEW.
Connecting through the power of stories written, spoken and lived
Oh Ashley this post could of been written by me. Seriously, the imagery and ideas and truths. The unseen, the little scrap of fabric we are allowed to hold, it really is summed up in: simple faith.
Blessings on you and your family &
Cheers.
Simple faith — yep, that about says it, doesn’t it, Leah? Bless you, too, as you go about this life holding on to that one little scrap, then the next one. They are making something beautiful.
Dear Ashley
Looking back I can assure you that it is all we can do, my friend; just the next thing we know how to do when raising your children. At times you don’t have a clue what the next thing is or how to do it! So each step should be taken with His grace.
Love to you
Mia
Grace, grace and more grace. That is so true, Mia. It’s not like the “next thing” announces itself with flashing lights and bells…often we don’t know we’re even doing the next thing until we’ve already done it. And sometimes that next thing seems so very small. And sometimes the next thing we do ends up being the wrong thing, and there’s plenty of grace for that too, so that sometimes the apology or hug or determination to do a different thing next time becomes the “next thing.”
this is beautiful. i have 5 little boys and often i feel the very same way. it helps to keep the end goal in mind, but in the thick of it that is often really hard to do. i love the way you put that whole thing into words.
The thick of it is such an apt description, Charis, where what we see is all that’s underneath and around us right here because there’s SO MUCH right here. Really, those moments where we catch glimpses of the end goal are such a gift, aren’t they? A rare little piece of perspective in the midst. Praying peace for you and yours in the middle of it all.
I wish I had a bird’s eye view of the quilt we’re making, but I have to settle for the ground view and trust it will grown into something beautiful. I love the way you’ve helped me see.
I have to settle for the ground view and trust — I love that, Kimberly.
Wonderful post.
Amen to all this, Ashley. And your ending – how in the end, we have to walk/parent/live by faith? Yes, again.
“Right now in the middle, I can get caught up in the loose thread, want to yank it or tuck it in before its time. I worry about that character issue, that unraveling and the places where the fabric pulls, and I want to make sure I’m doing my job right.”
Yes, this…and how much pressure we put on ourselves to do that job right! How I sometimes long for more perspective, for a fuller view, when I wonder if the thing I’m worrying over is even important in the long(er) run.
Isn’t that true, Abbey?! It’s so hard as mamas to know if the issue that we’re focusing on is even important in the grand scheme of things. That whole idea that we “major in the majors and minor in the minors” is good if only I can figure out what the major and minors are! :-)
Ashley as a quilt artist most of my pieces look like a hot mess in the middle. I have no clue what they will look like until they are finished. I am astonished when I just allow the process to unfold always frantic and chaotic. I look like a mad woman covered from head to toe in scraps of cloth and snips of thread. I just follow one idea to the next. I have no “big” plan. I am always stunned by the beauty of the quilts when they are done. They are a gift from God and created with Him. It ‘s the same for you with your girls. You and God are creating breathtaking art together. Be encouraged! I’ve travelled the road before you. Your daughters are beautiful works of art created in God’s image.
I love your quilter’s perspective, Barb. What a glorious metaphor — you covered in the hot mess of scraps and threads, not knowing what will come of it and just following one moment to the next until the glorious art is revealed. Such an encouragement!
…and I check my heart and footing and wonder what stories she’ll tell about this woman called mama.
My favorite line because it’s my last thought nearly every time I crawl between the sheets~ As always, beautiful.
Praying for you and me, Lori — that we would be able to release that story into God’s hands, even as we live that story, knowing he is the faithful author and perfecter.
Oh I love this! I am piecing together that quilt now – in fact, I posted it on my FMF post just today! A ‘quilt’ if you will of all the First Days of school as we count down to just 6 more actual days of school…
Headed over there to look at it now, Karrilee! Amazing the places of overlap we discover on these FMF journeys. And I think today might be your last school day. 2 more weeks for us. Happy last day to you and your fam.
Friend, I feel the tugging of your heart as it wants to sort through all these beautiful, frayed, unfinished pieces… such imagery here, the quilt and the view from the plane, and digging and planting. It’s work and toil and rest and awe and sweat and tears and – trust. So complex up close, and from a distance, so perfectly fitted together. I love how you wrestle with this tension. I love you and your heart.
Thank you for hearing my heart as always, dear Amber.
So beautifully written! I, too, can’t wait to turn over the tapestry and see the front when it’s finished, ’cause back here, it’s rather messy looking. :)
Ain’t that the truth?! Thanks for your presence here. It’s a gift.
Off to ponder my quilt as I take a drive . . . Beautiful imagery Ashley :-)
Beautiful, Ashley, just beautiful. I’d write more but my quilt today is unraveling…. Off to try and see it from a new view, thanks to your words.
Elizabeth, dear one. Praying peace and a breath of fresh air to see the muddle of the middle in a new way. Bless you.
Sometimes the beauty, the clarity and wisdom in your words just leaves me to sit, be still. Be blessed. Like now. xxx