Sometimes you don’t write for nearly a week and it’s not because anything’s wrong, it’s only because you don’t want to talk for no reason. But then your house is empty for a moment, and you long to hear the keys tapping again, and there’s stuff stirring in your brain, and sometimes you don’t know exactly what it is until you put fingers to letter-squares.
And then you write for a while and realize it’s all just as random as it seems floating around inside and so later that afternoon while the littlest is “quiet timing,” you decide to make your musings into a list instead.
1) My four-year-old named her fuzzy brown teddy bear Bob Costas. Bob Costas. I could not wait another moment to let you know. I do not know how I’ve waited this long. There’s no end to how much it tickles me to hear her ask, “Where’s Bob Costas?” and “Can Bob Costas come with us in the car?” Of course he can, honey. Of course. Every day of the week.
2) Yesterday was strange. In the morning, I loaded the car with library books to return, flowers to deliver to our little friend for her birthday and my Lala. We planned to head to the DEQ and then the grocery store. When we reached the front of the line at DEQ, the kind man at the kiosk asked if I had my paperwork with me. I looked at my brimming front seat.
No dice.
So we made a turn for our friend’s house instead to drop off the flowers. Lala who’d been whining all morning about how tired she was and had (uncharacteristically) taken a nap before 10:30, uttered some garbled words from the backseat and proceeded to spew all over herself, Lambie, her carseat and down to the carpet below. She was most upset about Lambie who would no longer smell like her — at least the sweet-smelling her. I’m glad Bob Costas was at home and didn’t have to see the whole thing play out.
3) I want to be the kind of mom who does not panic and call her husband and start complaining about how hard life is when said puking happens in the car, but apparently I am the kind who has other strengths. I could have focused on the fact that we were not in the DEQ line having our car inspected for emissions when said vomiting occurred, but it did not occur to me at that moment.
4) Once I got Lala bathed and cozy and settled on the couch with the washing machine humming, I headed to the car to clean up the mess. I took a fresh air break and checked the email on my phone which informed me that a lockdown had occurred at our daughters’ school. It turns out there was a suspicious package (rumored later to have been a hairbrush in a bag) that caused the kids to be called in from recess as cop cars gathered around the school. The fifth graders huddled together quietly, not knowing what was happening outside as their teacher stood guard with his baseball bat. The second graders gathered together on the carpet to listen to their teacher quietly read Ramona the Pest. When the lockdown was lifted, the second graders went to the auditorium where they listened to an older girl play Beethoven. My fifth grader accompanied first graders to the park for a walking field trip. Both their experiences broke my heart for different reasons.
5) After approximately 33 years, I’ve finally quit biting my nails. Can I get a woohoo? During the two months since I’ve quit, my four-year-old has started biting her nails with new vigor. The circle of life?
6) My car still stinks, but vaguely of natural parsley cleaner. I need to roll down the windows now that the rain has passed. It reminds me of a certain European city with the pungent smells of urine and dog doo not-so-effectively cloaked in parfum.
7) In the midst of my surreal afternoon, I called my sister. She calmed my fears, encouraged me to keep on keepin’ on and prayed for me. I felt so much better.
8) Reading long books about animals on adventures are magic for sick little ones on the couch.
9) J is dressed as Laura Ingalls today for a school spirit day. She had P.E. first thing, so she was Laura Ingalls in running shoes. When I picked her up, she was Laura Ingalls in cowgirl boots. She changed back into running shoes for the walk home.
10) Lala came downstairs as I was writing this in a white and green checked gingham dress. She said she wanted to be a character, but since J was already Laura, she had to be someone else. “Who do I remind you of?” she asked. I racked my brain, and after she dismissed Sally from Cat in the Hat, she decided on Fern from Charlotte’s Web, “even though my dress doesn’t have ruffles.”
“You’re kinda more like her personality with your spunk,” I explained. She smiled knowingly.
11) This might be my first ever late afternoon post. If ever there were a time to break my self-imposed blogging schedule, it would be on a bizarre brain dump like this one.
12) Tomorrow, Sici has her first school dance. The fifth graders will be joining the middle years kids at our K-8. I expect my daughter will know less popular music than most, but if The Jackson 5 or “Dancing Queen” or Bob Marley come piping through those speakers, hold on. It’s going to get funky all up in that cafeteria.
Connecting through the power of stories written, spoken and lived
You’re a wonderful mommy.
I have my moments :-)
I love your voice here, Ashley. It reminds me, oh so much, why I love you. And it also inspires me to think differently about what blogging “should” look like. This was wonderful and most definitely drew me in–closer–to you and your heart and your sweet family.
And the whole Bob Costas thing? Probably the most awesome thing I’ve heard all week.
I love you, Holly. Isn’t it fun to try a new way? It can feel confining if we forget that we have freedom in this whole writing deal. To write or not to write. To be goofy or dark. To be polished or undone. To write about the very most random stuffed animal name you’ve ever heard. Thankful for you, friend. :-)
I love the randomness of your post! I smiled through the whole thing…especially the addition of Bob Costas in your home!!
Really. It doesn’t get much better. Now, if only we could find him.
Oh my goodness, I love this post Ashley. It rivals Jen Hatmakers post from today. If you haven’t read it yet, go give yourself a gift. And make sure you have tissue to wipe away the laughter tears. 843-344-1180, call me next time! Love you girl.
Love you, Shelly! Thanks for the encouragement to let the funny out a little bit more. And I adore that Jen Hatmaker post! I keep thinking about it…solidarity, sister. :-)
thank you for your gift of smiles and laughter.
Thank you for your presence here. Makes me smile back.
Ashley you crack me up! Your sense of humor is what gets you through the list. The way your brain works is fascinating. It’s like Ashley unplugged. Love you bunches!
Ashley Unplugged…now that’s a frightening thought!
Ash- I LOVED this post! It was so perfect in so many ways. So real and true. You capture all the crazy brain dumps us moms often want to share.
Love you!!
Really, don’t you feel like so much gets poured in each day and you’re just dying to pour it back out?! I love you, sister.
Oh sweet Ashley ! how in sharing the ‘ordinaries’ of a day in your life made me want to reach up I-5 and hug you. This drew me in because you relate all the randomness of a Mom’s life. Always those thoughts coming out of their mouths in such sincere yet hilarious words – often out-of-context for we adults. Bob Costas caused me to laugh so much but then almost immediately I am wishing I could help you with the clean-up from Lala’s tummy overflow. What next I’m sure you were thinking ! Great idea to call Ali for morale backup…….she’s been there recently with Drew’s ‘backflow’ issue and all the other stuff she deals with daily. You are both such awesome Moms and I love that both your hearts are able to see beyond these crazy (and often fragrant !) moments in your daily attempts to live life ‘awake’ and ‘fully’. You gals can see the divine and big picture of being a Mom…..and that’s a blessing some women don’t know. Thanks again for bloging when you feel like it as your thoughts are always worth waiting for. Have fun at your Five Minute Friday tomorrow. Medford hugging you here !
Oh, Mary, truly you are the sweetest! You wanted to help me with the overflow — for reals?! My sister is an incredible encourager and an amazing mama…I learn so much from her. I do try to keep the divine picture in mind, though some days or moments it’s harder than others. :-) Thank you for your words of encouragement and big hugs. I feel them and am so excited to meet you face to face someday.
This made me smile. Thank you for letting me into your day. A crazy one at that. Lots of not so little life lessons. Love you girl!
Love you, Vickie. Thanks for coming along with me…so grateful for your presence here.
my favorite post! I felt like I was with you in your day! you and I have these three girls each who are such characters! there is never a dull moment is there? ….even when we want one :) I love hearing of your activities and the quirks of the day. makes me feel close. I can so relate to the last one about the music….so funny…I think our houses are filled with the same tunes! smooooches to all of you. the millers love the larkins!!!!
NEVER a dull moment! Our days are so similar, even though they’re filled with their own particular quirks, and that is so comforting…even though we’re miles away. Love thinking about you and your girls rocking out to oldies and classic rock and all the old stuff. We’re getting up there, aren’t we?
Larkins love the Millers!
So much here to love, Ash! And I was laughing out loud numerous times. My favorite line: “I’m glad Bob Costas was at home and didn’t have to see the whole thing play out.” Loved everything about this brain dump of yours and hoping we get to see more dumps in the future. ;-)
One of my favorite things is laughing with you, friend. Fun to imagine us on different sides of the screen giggling our way through. Love you, pal.
I’m gratified to hear Sici knows ‘Dancing Queen.’ And I had to look up Bob Costas on the internet to see who he is. And woohoo! Love this quirky, a touch irreverent (don’t let that worry you) voice of yours!
Oh yes, Dancing Queen is the best, isn’t it?! It’s fun to be a little irreverent and quirky, isn’t it? Just some of the many parts of me, and you too, I know. :-)
So comforting to know that (what I perceive as) an amazing mama who lives just around the corner from me goes through so many of the same hardships and sometimes responds to those hardships as I would. Such comfort for me to know that I am not alone in my desperate and frustrated calls to the hubs. Such a comfort to know that that cool mama around the corner also has a list of moments that include awesome names for lovies around the house. Thanks so much, Ashley.
Katrina, your comment touched me because when I see you, I see a real and loving and tender mama, pouring out to her kids, sharing the all of who she is. I see a beautiful woman and an authentic one.
I love that wrapped up in us are so many pieces — amazing and messy and strong and blubbering and confident and completely confused. It’s good to share in that fullness with you. Thank you for your words.
Props to you for not calling the hubs about the puke…that was some real motherhood discipline :) I hope that bear’s name doesn’t get shortened to Bob. I love the whole name.. especially for a bear. He gets on my nerves during the Olympics. :)
Oh, if only I hadn’t…called the hubs just seconds after the puke, actually! And I suppose time will tell with Mr. Costas/Bob. He already looks as if he might have been replaced — such a shame!
Ashley, I love how you can bring joy and laughter to others in the midst of a challenging day. That is truly a gift.
Thank you, DeAnn. You are so dear.
that was wonderful!!! i loved every moment of it…and was so glad to see things progress in your journey. I loved the dressing up as Laura and Fern…two great literary characters full of spunk! and i’m glad that your car kind of reminds you of…Paris?!? or Venice? i couldn’t decide which one you were talking about ;) this was great and very down to earth wonderful. thanks for putting your fingers to the keys.
Paris — you guessed it, Janel! After 17 years, I can still remember the not-so-lovely smells of that beautiful city like it was yesterday! And Fern and Laura, seriously. Didn’t you always want to call them your friends? They always were I suppose, but I wanted to run through the fields with them both.
Ashley…
this is so great…i love your thoughts, musings, the list, the dump, the humor…it’s so fresh and real and feels so familiar to all of us…
Gwendolyn, you are so great. It’s a delight to see you here…glad I’m not hanging out here all by my lonesome!
You can’t even know how much this makes me smile, to hear your voice, but in a different way, to know some of your daily happenings as if you were telling this in person. And Bob Costas, oh boy. I’m still chuckling over that one.
Thank you, sweetheart. :-)
Loved this blog post…different is good.
Isn’t amazing how writing at a different time in the day, in a different format produces such different emotions and finished product?
The lock down story broke my heart too. Constant fear for our children…what will be the long term outcome for our children’s generation? How can our children shine distinct and becoming for Christ being raised too in the midst of it? That’s what I wonder. Along with how many sports interviews DOES your family watch? {Bob Costas the sports journalist reference here}?
Cheers
Yes, you are so right, Leah! So often what I think will come out in my writing comes out differently by the time I write it — often because of the different time/setting/emotional climate/etc. that are a part of making it what it is.
Yes, I wonder about your questions re: the lockdown, too. My husband said, “There’s always been a boogeyman.” He and I grew up in the age of nuclear bomb drills, which I remember being scary but not scarring. I hope the same for these little ones. My girls seem to have dealt with it sort of matter of factly up to this point, but yes, I hear your concerns and so get that.
On a lighter note, really Lala’s only exposure to Mr. Costas is through the Olympics, which she watched a little bit when she was a wee little peanut, and the Kentucky Derby. So who knows where that came from?!