Alright, you may (or may not) have asked for this.
I was stunned to hear after last week’s post that a good number of you — here on the ol’ blog and on Facebook — actually wanted me to write more random week happenings kind of stuff.
Truly, I thought it might be as interesting as watching paint dry to read those meanderings, but I am nothing if not a recovering people pleaser, so off we go.
1) Firstly, an update. Of course you want to know about Bob Costas. As a point of clarification, Lala’s only experience viewing the human Bob Costas is through the Olympics, when she was just three, and on the coverage of the Kentucky Derby, which we watch each year in fancy hats with our friends. The other Bob Costas, the stuffed bear who was a consistent fixture around here for several weeks, has gone missing. First, he was visiting Hawaii, “the prettiest place in the world,” according to Lala, but now “he’s just gone…I don’t know.” Let us know if you hear anything. Four-year-olds can be so fickle. She’s hardly even tried to find him; honestly, it’s been harder on the rest of us.
2) Sici created a game on Sunday. The main prop is a Waste Management garbage truck made of card stock. A player reaches into the trash slot and picks out a small card that names a set of items that has been thrown away — ex: “740 hard boiled eggs,” “16 sunscreen scented candles” or “17 white ceramic animals that don’t look like animals” — and then describes the story of how those items came to be in the trash. Hilarity ensues. I love this girl’s mind.
3) Last weekend, Lala fell hard on the concrete patio out back, scraping up both knees badly. She cried huge tears and told us through gasps, “Looking at my legs makes me think I’m in a bad movie, and I’ve just been DEFEATED.” This girl reminds me so much of myself as a kid. (Let the drama commence.)
4) Lala and I spent the day with Nana on Tuesday. It did my heart good. Sitting in the sun, homemade smoothies and mochas, deep and funny conversation and lunch at the Old Spaghetti Factory where my mom and I both held jobs in our early 20’s. We sat in the trolley — the location of my worst waitressing moment in which I spilled a tray of food, bright red tomato sauce and all, into a patron’s lap. I still have nightmares about it.
5) Today, J tries out for the annual school talent show. She will be roller skating with two buddies. I love the confidence of second graders. “If we roll off the stage, we’ll just pretend it’s a part of our routine,” she said. Sici approached her jump roping talent in second grade in a similar way. “I’ll just jump until I get to the end of the stage, and then I’ll turn around and jump backwards. If I trip, I’ll just keep going.” Unfortunately, J may have broken a toe or two this week when she stubbed them on a chair leg, but she said the show must go on, even with a taped-together second and third mono-toe.
6) This is what last minute requests on a Thursday morning with only seven days of school left look like. (It reminds me a bit of this piece by Jen Hatmaker which I shared on Twitter last week. If you haven’t read it and are a mama sending kids to school each day for these drawn out final days of the year, please do yourself the favor.)
This morning J called out from upstairs, “But I need another tube for our project!” It is much harder to roll paper towels back up on themselves than it looks. Actually, I guess it’s just as hard as it looks. Exhibit A:
7) Please tell me. Is there some crazed squirrel convention happening in Northeast Portland this weekend, at exactly my address? I woke up to swarms of them nattering and running along the edges of my house and in every possible direction. The backyard is teeming with them. Seriously, what is going on? I’ve come to realize that I like living things individually or in small groups. One or two dogs, precious. A pack of canines, freaky! One potato bug or one ladybug, adorable. One hundred, seek cover! The numbers of squirrels outside have clearly surpassed my cuteness quota.
8) The girls marked the beginning of summer weather in May with a charming butterfly count: “That’s my 19th butterfly of the year!” and a slightly less adorable count of shirtless men: “That’s the fifth shirtless man of the season!” Seemed strange yet also logical. Who walks around topless until the sun comes out? (Rhetorical question.)
9) Last week broke me of my post-by-8am-itis. Last week, 5 pm. Yesterday and today in the 10:00’s. We’ve got a blogging renegade on our hands, people.
10) J and Lala have set up a fly hospital out back — for those with broken wings mainly. The other injuries are harder to see. Just like my dad before her, J is a Tupperware container spider rescuer. Even the gross hairy black ones. And when she can’t get the lid off, guess who comes to the rescue? And has heeby-jeebies for the next hour?
11) Out to enjoy the sunshine with my girl. It’s a gorgeous day. We’re going in search of a place with far fewer squirrels.
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I’m one of those who asked for this, so I should thank you properly! You made me chuckle today, Ash, even guffaw, and laughter (though probably not the primary reason peeps show up here) is a gift we’ll often find nestled among your stories. So, beginning with Bob Costas, now missing, with Lala rather nonplussed by his disappearance while the rest of the family ponders the gravity of the situation; the fly hospital!!; the herd of squirrels stampeding overhead; your “problem” with critters (of all types) in numbers greater than 3; the girls marking summer days by butterflies – and shirtless men!; just too good!!! All of it! Thank you dear and funny girl! xo mama
(ps – a rather artful photo of the TP!)
So happy to bring a laugh. I know how many I’ve shared with you over years. :-) By the way, glad you liked the photo of the paper towels…perhaps my strangest blogging photo subject yet.
AMAZING…I pretty much giggled through this whole list. seriously…your kids are hilarious and adorable, and the picture of your daughter and her friends skating off the side of the show just made me almost fall out of the chair with laughter. and the groups of squirrels (oh my!). After seeing Alfred Hitchcock’s ‘The Birds’…i can never see another tree full of birds without having the first pangs of a panic attack. I hear you, large number of animals can be some what OVER the cuteness factor. and the shirtless men and butterflies count is WONDERFUL…why didn’t i think of that as something to compare ;) love love love it. Love all your posts…but these ones make me giggle
Janel, THE BIRDS — yes — that’ll ruin a person when they see animals en masse! Maybe that’s my problem! So glad to bring a laugh and some smiles today to you (and your mama). And, to be clear, I like the butterfly idea, but I am still a bit undecided about that shirtless man count. :-)
I like the randomness! :)
Ah, thanks, Tami. I think a good dose of random helps the world go ’round.
“He’s just gone… I don’t know.” Oh wow, I am laughing (albeit, somewhat quietly, as I’m currently in a coffee shop – but I’m DYING inside)! This is sweetness to my soul, friend. I love, love, love your randomness. And your girls. And maybe even the squirrels, though I can see how a hoard of them begins to get creepy…
I love the picture of you in that coffee shop. And I can’t wait to share a bit of randomness mana y mana. :-)