It’s ironic that when we sat on those sticky bench seats, and you and I met face to face for the first time in that big van on the way to Mexico, it was I who listened to you for so many hours.
As you shared the story with the whole bunch of us, of Dad and his fight against leukemia and your senior year filled with sorrow beyond what we could imagine, you spoke honest and impassioned, filling in all the details like it was bringing life.
I began to love you by listening to you.
And now, 21 years later, it is nearly always you who listen to me as I unwind the details of the day and tell dreams and insecurities and joys, the sorrow of life and so much mundane.
Though I love to hear stories, it is you who wait patiently as I do most of the telling, laying it all out there on the bed, and I wonder when you will answer because you just listen, and it can feel so quiet when the light’s faded from our room.
On this particular night, I let the words go and tell you I worry about the summer, that I won’t be able to meet the needs of three girls who want such different things. And though I know I’m giving too much voice to discontent and worry, I wish we could be the cool house with the trampoline or the zip line or the treehouse, even the garden overflowing vegetables, but it’s not in the cards right now.
Though I know J and Lala are happy to dig and create magical lands and plant weeds in pots, I worry about Sici — that she will be unhappy here and will constantly itch to be elsewhere.
I keep talking and wonder why you don’t say something, but when you do, your words are gold.
“Kids won’t want to be here because we have the best food or the coolest backyard. They will want to be with us because they know they are loved, and they are welcome.”
I listen to your few chosen words in the wake of all mine, and they bring life.
They do. Like always.
It’s the last day of school today here, folks! We are really excited, and I expect it might take a little time to figure out a new rhythm of blogging as we adjust to being together under the same roof all day once again. I’ll try to listen to where we are, what we need and sometimes just let the uniqueness of the day unroll. This may mean more writing or less, early morning posts, late day posts or not at all posts. Part of me listening means admitting I do not have this parenting, writing, summer-ing or life thing figured out.
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A note about Concrete Words: It was a joy to guest post and host Concrete Words this week at Nacole’s place. I read each piece linked there on The Morning and had the honor of choosing my favorite. The piece I’ve chosen to feature is by a beautiful writer and friend, Alia at Narrow Paths to Higher Places with her post, A Mother’s Faith. Please do read her words about the sacrifices, uncertainty and abiding hope of motherhood.
As I do most Fridays, I am connecting with Lisa-Jo Baker and the Five Minute Friday community where we “just write without worrying if it’s just right,” as Lisa-Jo says. I think we could probably all do with a little less worry about if “it” is just right, whatever “it” is. This week’s prompt: LISTEN.
Connecting through the power of stories written, spoken and lived
you were my neighbor two weeks in a row now over at Lisa-Jo’s, and i think that is just a beautiful piece of poetry from the hand of the Most High. your words are so sweet, precious, and profound.
so blessed to be here, again. <3
I’m curious are the wives the talkers and the husbands the listeners in most marriages?
Good question, Barb. I’m sure you’ve heard the whole thing about numbers of words used by men and women in a day, but it seems there are all kinds of marriages and couplings…probably most of the time, I’m guessing, one is a bigger talker than the other. Otherwise, how could there be enough room for all the words? :-) Others feel free to chime in. Thoughts?
Rachel, I love that we were side by side 2 weeks in a row, especially since we posted at such different times both weeks. Thank you for your dear words and your presence here!
Ashley this was a wonderful post, and this made me smile: ‘I keep talking and wonder why you don’t say something, but when you do, your words are gold’.. Ioften talk and talk and wonder why my husband just respond, be he does something I don’t do and thinks about his forms before they leave his mouth.. and usually there’s gold there, like you say :-)
Yes, that thinking before speaking thing. I’m still working on that, too! Thank you, dear Ruth!
Dear Ashley
We women can be a bunch of shatter boxes! But you have a jewel of a husband who listens with so much patience and when he does speak, it only brings life! He is not only handsome, he also has a beautiful heart!
Much love XX
Mia
Yes, yes and yes! Thank you, Mia.
Oh I love this… I love those late night, after the head hits the pillow, before the eyes give way to slumber conversations… and how after all my words, his – and His – can just cut right through!
Ain’t that the truth? If he doesn’t fall asleep first. :-)
This is a very sweet look at your relationship with your husband. He sounds a little like my own–not a big talker but makes his words count. What a lovely way to show him love on Father’s Day weekend. :)
Thank you, Lesley. He is such a good dad, too…partly because he listens and “makes his words count.” I hope you and your family enjoyed Father’s Day together.
Your Michael is a gem.
Yes, he is, and you knew that even before I got the chance. Love that you were friends before I was on the scene. Thank you, friend.
I absolutely loved reading this! You Ash are like a stream of fresh rolling water, words gurgling and tumbling, eddying in little pools, or somersaulting over rocks, with water-jewel spray. Mike is like a trickling clear spring rising out of the deep quiet, with brilliant greens clustered around for life. (How grateful I am that you two found each other and that you each listen so well!!)
What a profound way of distinguishing each of them, Ani – both are so precious and bring life to the other in their own refreshing way.
Blessed be, are those that can let our Story unfurl, help us untangle the “inner knot” from our Rope, patiently, allowiing us to come to the Quiet Sigh and Hug us at the end, where comfort and solutions and reason are born. I loved reading this and remember being at your wedding. What blessed and beautiful love lies herein. Sending you a “God Smile” and lots of love. I never tire of reading your words, knowing your purity of Heart for God and bringing His Love through your life walk. So lovely to see this photo of the two of you! You are both such Gems! BTW your very own Mama Spree has done that for me for coming up on 3 decades! You found her “Heart Love” for “God Coming Through” in your Mike and I love, love, love that! Praises. You always lift me up ;)
Mama, how you get us. I am so grateful, too. Thank you.
Kelly, thank you so much for your loving words. I remember you at our wedding too! :-) And you’re right, my mama and Mike do have some of those same gentle, reflecting back “allowing us to come to the quiet sigh” qualities. Treasures, both…and so are you. Thank you for letting me know my words make a difference in your life. That brings such joy.
I’m here reading your sweet words today, dear Ashley – appreciating, as always, your gentle, honest Goodness.
“I do not have this parenting, writing, summer-ing or life thing figured out.” And to this, can I just say – me neither.
Sending so much love your way.
Happy, joyous summer, my dear friend.
Happy joyous summer to you too, my friend, and thank you for the gift of your presence here today. Much love!
aysh…I am trying to read your post here…with my ears plugged with my fingers…because I have got 3 kiddos home all day now for day number 2 of summer! oh the challenges that it has brought already. we have had some great outside times and some not so good inside times. lord help me. and yes, mike is a gem!!! was I in that van?
Yes, that inside-outside thing…I can relate! Praying for you, buddy. Hoping for some sweet summer days for you and the kiddos and some time for mama to breathe easy.
You know, Mike and I were on Team 8 with Nyree and Heather on that trip…I think you might have been in a different van on the way south. Do you remember?
Reblogged this on godschick and commented:
Love your post. So sweet. Warmed my heart today. Found you at FMF. Blessings!
Thank you so much for the share! I love the FMF community. So happy to see you again!
Love your story. It warmed my heart today! I found you at FMF. Blessings!
Friend, this is pure sweetness. I love how the two of you love and listen to each other. That Mike is a gem, for sure. And you are gifts to each other. I look forward to meeting him one day!
We’ve got plenty of challenges, too, but I am immensely grateful. Yes, he is certainly a treasure. Can’t wait for you two to meet!
Aren’t husbands the best gift, Ashley? He’s right, too. Why do I visit your blog every chance I can? Because I feel welcomed; supported & loved. Joy is found here! I am just like one of those kids that come to your house over & over again just to BE with Ashley!
What an amazing summer; what lucky kids, learning to be present; aware ~~ of the gifts each moment of time has in store for them; and you!!!
Wow, thank you for your beautiful words, dear. What a huge compliment. I am so thankful that you feel welcomed, supported and loved when you come here…that is just my greatest joy. So happy to have met you in this bloggy world. Enjoy these summer days!