Here’s my right here:
I am a mother.
I am a mother in pajamas — the only one awake in this quiet house, wearing an old fleece and warm socks to ward off the early cold.
I am a mother woken early from a bad dream, writing an email at 3-crazy-something in the morning, advocating from her gut and for children’s safety.
I am a mother lifting hands, praying battle prayers with grimaced face in the middle of the kitchen.
I am a mother pouring heart across pages for her 11-year-old daughter before she leaves for Outdoor School, two nights and three days.
I am a mother who does not know if her daughter will have entirely too much fun to stop to read all her mother’s small cursive script, but I cannot stop writing anyway. I must keep reminding this girl who she is, so I tell her and send prayers for this wise, seeing daughter with huge eyes and a broad braces smile — and I tell her, too, enjoy this great adventure.
I am a mother who writes all she can with black ballpoint pen and then tucks it in gold.
I am a mother who recalls yesterday, teaching fight and speak, and last night, telling oldest, all us girls and women — we belong to each other, we need to take care of one another. I am a mother who prays at the corner of the four post bed with her daughter, lifting concerns on wings for a sister friend.
I am a mother who cries as I type this morning in the vulnerability of telling you right where I am, writing an entirely different post than the one I imagined.
I am a scared fighter-truth proclaimer, but fear will not hold me.
I will scrap for these kids and herald light come into dark spaces.
I am a mother.
An in-the-gap stander. First responder. Defender. Advocate. Reminder. Nurturer. Life and light speaker.
This morning, I am tired.
But I will not shrink back.
This is Day 7 of Right Here. Throughout October, I’m joining with a community of other bloggers (over 1,500 strong! with The Nester), who are writing for 31 days about the same topic. To find all posts in 31 Days of Right Here, click here, or see the listing below.
To continue receiving these daily words, subscribe to this blog on the sidebar at left, click here to Like Draw Near on Facebook or follow me on Twitter @AshleyMLarkin. I’m immensely grateful to have you on the journey with me.
POSTS IN THE SERIES
An introduction: Welcome to 31 Days of Right Here
Day 1: For You, Too
Day 2: Fear’s Invitation
Day 3: My Portion
Day 4: Five Minute Friday – Write
Day 5: Rise and Shine
Day 6: My Joys Mount As Do the Birds
Day 7: A Mother’s Fierce Love