I grew up with one younger sister and later stepsisters added to the mix. I babysat gaggles of girls. For three years through my teens, I counseled middle school girls at outdoor school. For three and a half years, I mentored elementary-aged and adolescent girls who I called and forever think of as “my girls.”
And when it came time for me to have children of my own, I so desperately wanted a daughter. And so I convinced myself the baby was a boy so I wouldn’t be too disappointed when the surprise was unveiled at birth. (Sorry, boys.)
Uttering those first words, “You’re a GIRRRRLLLLL!” filled me with such joy and elation that I thought I might float away.
While carrying my second baby, I experienced such a completely different pregnancy that I convinced myself this must be a boy. And truly that would have been a blessing, but when she was born, also a girl, I could hardly believe that my first would have a sister and that we would raise girls together.
Pregnancy number three was virtually the same story. Same boy name waiting in the wings as I prepared my heart for a boy (which I could also imagine as a wonder-filled, though TOTALLY foreign experience) and the comments of strangers (“You trying for a boy with number three, huh?”), and then…another girl!
Three utterly unique daughters born in just over six years.
And a mama filled with such gratitude.
And overwhelmed by the responsibility of being the same-sex parent to three little people who watch my every move.
And confused by the intricacies of all that makes them utterly them and all they’re trying to work out as they navigate this world that feels so often a hostile place.
Now my story may not be your story. You may have no daughters or perhaps, truthfully, never desired one. I have a friend who was so afraid of all the pitfalls of girlhood that she prayed to have sons, and now has four daughters of her own (and is an incredible mother, by the way).
Perhaps you wonder about why I’m telling you all this.
I’m so glad you asked.
Today, (in)courage — the online community that provides a space for women to come alongside one another on the journey and gives daily hope and encouragement as we walk with God — is unrolling a new session of community groups. You’ll find more than 70 small groups that meet in closed groups on Facebook for interests ranging from writing (which I’ve been a part of in the past — so good) to marriage to singleness to recovery and more. This session will run for six weeks.
I am so thrilled to be hosting Raising Daughters: Hope and (In)couragement for the Journey with my dear friend and mama of four girls, Alexandra Kuykendall. Alex is the author of The Artist’s Daughter, a frequent contributor to MOPS International and a nationally recognized women’s speaker. We both share a passion for not only girls, but for their mamas — those women raising the next generation of amazing women.
I encourage you to check out our group here and other (in)courage community groups here…we’d love to have you join us! Do act quickly as spots are filling fast.
Happy Monday, friends. So grateful for you.
Connecting through the power of stories written, spoken and lived
Great topic. Mothers have such profound impact on their daughters and daughters can be pretty difficult at times. I’m so thankful my mom patiently and graciously loved me during my youth to make me the woman I am today.
What a wonderful testimony, Ali. Yes, it can be a difficult road. Hoping to parent with some of the patience and grace your mom demonstrated to you. Bless you, and thanks for your words here today.
As a step-mother of one girl (but really I’m her only mother) and then I also have a one-year old daughter, your group definitely sounds like something for me. I have already struggled immensely as a mother to my oldest daughter, which is why I often blog about. :) I’m looking forward to checking these groups out!
http://5heartsonefamily.blogspot.com/
There really are some great options. I hope you found a group that fits you. Praying peace and wisdom for you as you parent these girls on such different ends of childhood’s timeline with such different needs. May you know hope today.
What a great group! Having raised a daughter (and a son) as a single mom, it would have been awesome to have this group back then. I know you guys will be a great encouragement to the women who join your group!
Thanks so much for the encouragement, Holly. We all need to know we’re not alone, and I can imagine that single motherhood is especially challenging and isolating. Looking forward to checking out what your group is up to. I love how you spread blessing all over the place. Much love and peace to you as you embark on this adventure with your (in)courage group.
So glad you’re leading too, and so excited for all that God will do. Love you my friend!
Love you, Dana. I am thrilled that you’re leading. How blessed those women will be by your wise, encouraging presence.
Oh, this group sounds FABULOUS! Wishing you weren’t full, I’d tell my daughter, mother of my two youngest granddaughters, to sign up/
I hope next time might work, Elizabeth! I think it’s a popular topic because our group sure filled up fast.
This sounds awesome Ashley! Maybe next time I’ll get in before the group is full. Hope it’s wonderful for you all.
I would absolutely love that, Jody. Bummed there wasn’t room this time around. Sending love to you, friend.