I want to be one who holds solid, who hangs on for the bumpy, long road.
But it’s hot and sticky, and my body hurts from the jostling, and I want the short, quick fix so much more.
I want to grab for what I can see.
I want what I want, and I don’t want to swallow the horrible tasting medicine (even if you say it’s good for me), anymore than Lala does, as she spits another dose down her shirt, onto the floor, into her hair.
I want to know the comforts and beauty of home, let them sink in deep, feel the hand in mine and hear the words that say you’re wanted. And so I need to be what I need, and this is not built in a day or night.
These days, belonging seems more about patience than I ever knew, and so to know belonging and offer it, I must keep at the long way. I must be a seed planter and a head nodder and a loving guide.
I must be willing to be long.
Sometimes staying longer than I want because she needs me, putting my plans on hold because her words are pouring, and I can’t put off their bubbling.
In the way I stroke her back, meet her searching eyes, apologize when I have jumped off the long road again for my quick fix, I communicate that belonging is not a branch to flit to, but arms and eyes to keep opening wide, a jostling pickup flatbed to share, all kinds of memories to keep laying down.
Joining with the Five Minute Friday community, graciously guest hosted by Crystal Stine today. The prompt for this morning’s free writing: BELONG. This one took me a while, friends. Let’s say inspiration came in five, but “be long” was also the way of this post. Thanks for grace, as always.