I want to be one who holds solid, who hangs on for the bumpy, long road.
But it’s hot and sticky, and my body hurts from the jostling, and I want the short, quick fix so much more.
I want to grab for what I can see.
I want what I want, and I don’t want to swallow the horrible tasting medicine (even if you say it’s good for me), anymore than Lala does, as she spits another dose down her shirt, onto the floor, into her hair.
I want to know the comforts and beauty of home, let them sink in deep, feel the hand in mine and hear the words that say you’re wanted. And so I need to be what I need, and this is not built in a day or night.
These days, belonging seems more about patience than I ever knew, and so to know belonging and offer it, I must keep at the long way. I must be a seed planter and a head nodder and a loving guide.
I must be willing to be long.
Sometimes staying longer than I want because she needs me, putting my plans on hold because her words are pouring, and I can’t put off their bubbling.
In the way I stroke her back, meet her searching eyes, apologize when I have jumped off the long road again for my quick fix, I communicate that belonging is not a branch to flit to, but arms and eyes to keep opening wide, a jostling pickup flatbed to share, all kinds of memories to keep laying down.
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Joining with the Five Minute Friday community, graciously guest hosted by Crystal Stine today. The prompt for this morning’s free writing: BELONG. This one took me a while, friends. Let’s say inspiration came in five, but “be long” was also the way of this post. Thanks for grace, as always.
Connecting through the power of stories written, spoken and lived
You – your heart, your words – are a place of belonging for my heart, sister. You inspire me and ground me and I’m thankful. Love you.
Dana, your presence here is such gift. Thank you for being a place of belonging for me, too, love, even though we’ve never looked eyeball to eyeball. I am so grateful for shared hearts. xoxo
I’m visiting you from FMF. I came back one – because the blog immediately ahead of mine – I couldn’t open it.
I just wanted to let you know that I was really encouraged by your words here today.
I loved the line: I must be willing to be long…
oohh!! wow..
Grateful to meet you through a glitch of the internet. :-) Thanks for your words here today.
Buddha said it like this, “You cannot travel the path until you have become the path itself.”
Uncle Don, I love that! Thank you.
Have you ever read Eugene Peterson’s A Long Obedience in the Same Direction? This reminds me of that book. Just the staying and walking with the daily obedience. I believe it to be the hardest of calls. And yet so many of us are walking that path, willing to be long. Love this. I wish we could catch up over sushi and mediocre hotel coffee! I miss you.
ohh Kris told me about this book and how it spoke to her. Thank you for reminding me of that Alia. And oh how beautiful it sounds.
I haven’t read it yet, Alia. It is on my list now. Sounds so so good and deeply true. Mediocre hotel coffee…here we come! xoxo
Dear Ashley
It has been a while since my last visit!! Your words remind me of something I have read this week. It says that if you want or need someone to act a certain way towards you, concentrate on what you have to do that will make the other person behave in the way you want to. That quickly takes our eyes of ourselves!
Blessings XX
Mia
Mia, so good to see you! I regret it’s been such a long time since we connected. I hope you are well. Yes, giving what we most want to receive surely turns things around. It is so easy to focus on how we’ve been jilted, not given what we want/”deserve.” Bless you, friend.
Hi Ashley! Been a while since I stopped by. Thanks for your beautiful words. Blessings to you!
David, I appreciate you and your always generous encouragement. I hope you are enjoying summer with your family.
Dear, sweet friend. Thank you for these words. I ran into another post that spoke about be-long and it was beautiful…and it made me think about how there are words that we can see differently, and that they can speak way into our hearts in so many ways. When I saw this word…I thought that I might not want to write…it seems to vulnerable. And then I did, and I read others and I saw that there is a journey to be hand together…in community and for the length of the time we have each together. Love you and your thoughts and your gift of writing.
Janel, you’ve put that so beautifully. It is incredible, isn’t it? This chorus of voices, this community…all reflecting different aspects of God’s heart. I am glad you wrote and that you visited today. You are such a voice of love and encouragement, all over the internets. I love you.
This. “These days, belonging seems more about patience than I ever knew, and so to know belonging and offer it, I must keep at the long way. I must be a seed planter and a head nodder and a loving guide.” I just copie this in my journal and want to paste it around my mirror and above my kitchen sink. Girl…you’re so loving and God-good wise. I love your writing Ashley!
Wow, what a compliment when a fellow writer writes down your words. I learn so much about the long way from reading you, Lisha. Thank you for your encouragement here. xoxo
I’m with Lisha, friend: These words stopped me, recognizing the deep wisdom in them and that I need to let them sit with me awhile, a long while, to really understand what they mean. “These days, belonging seems more about patience than I ever knew, and so to know belonging and offer it, I must keep at the long way.” Belonging and patience – wow. You are learning so much and I love the way your heart aches to BE and to be right where you are and to plant seeds and to grow them over time with great love. That is who you are. Your girls are so blessed, Ashley.
Honey, as always, the way you see into the words I scratch means so much to me. It’s such a journey to BE where we are, isn’t it? I am such an imperfect Mama, but I do learn so much from these little people, and they make me want to grow right where we all are. Bit by bit for sure. I love you.
Be long. I love that Ashley. You’re one of the most compassionate people I know. Keep up the good work Mama. Your steadfast mother’s heart will see some fruit. I’m sure of that.
Shelly, thank you so much for your kindness and for speaking life to my weary mama bones. Love you.
This is just Beautiful, Ashley! I love you Dear Friend!
Love you, too, Kelly!