Here’s my right here:
I am a mother.
I am a mother in pajamas — the only one awake in this quiet house, wearing an old fleece and warm socks to ward off the early cold.
I am a mother woken early from a bad dream, writing an email at 3-crazy-something in the morning, advocating from her gut and for children’s safety.
I am a mother lifting hands, praying battle prayers with grimaced face in the middle of the kitchen.
I am a mother pouring heart across pages for her 11-year-old daughter before she leaves for Outdoor School, two nights and three days.
I am a mother who does not know if her daughter will have entirely too much fun to stop to read all her mother’s small cursive script, but I cannot stop writing anyway. I must keep reminding this girl who she is, so I tell her and send prayers for this wise, seeing daughter with huge eyes and a broad braces smile — and I tell her, too, enjoy this great adventure.
I am a mother who writes all she can with black ballpoint pen and then tucks it in gold.
I am a mother who recalls yesterday, teaching fight and speak, and last night, telling oldest, all us girls and women — we belong to each other, we need to take care of one another. I am a mother who prays at the corner of the four post bed with her daughter, lifting concerns on wings for a sister friend.
I am a mother who cries as I type this morning in the vulnerability of telling you right where I am, writing an entirely different post than the one I imagined.
I am a scared fighter-truth proclaimer, but fear will not hold me.
I will scrap for these kids and herald light come into dark spaces.
I am a mother.
An in-the-gap stander. First responder. Defender. Advocate. Reminder. Nurturer. Life and light speaker.
This morning, I am tired.
But I will not shrink back.
This is Day 7 of Right Here. Throughout October, I’m joining with a community of other bloggers (over 1,500 strong! with The Nester), who are writing for 31 days about the same topic. To find all posts in 31 Days of Right Here, click here, or see the listing below.
To continue receiving these daily words, subscribe to this blog on the sidebar at left, click here to Like Draw Near on Facebook or follow me on Twitter @AshleyMLarkin. I’m immensely grateful to have you on the journey with me.
POSTS IN THE SERIES
An introduction: Welcome to 31 Days of Right Here
Day 1: For You, Too
Day 2: Fear’s Invitation
Day 3: My Portion
Day 4: Five Minute Friday – Write
Day 5: Rise and Shine
Day 6: My Joys Mount As Do the Birds
Day 7: A Mother’s Fierce Love
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Oh my dearest girl!! I am a mother, in the new light of gray morning, reading her own daughter’s words. Words wrought from the fiercest love, from the depths of bone but deeper still. Words stained with anguished tears, cried aloud in the night. Words of fierce strength, loyalty, stand-in-the-lurch, words of will-not-lie-down, will not forsake for any reason on earth. You are brave-hearted, deep- and wide-hearted, resilient, wise, vigilant, with the strength of a soldier and the Love of angels. My own heart is full of prayers for S. I can imagine no girl better prepared to “enter her next adventure” (and the one after that) than the girl you and Mike have raised. She is made for very good things on this earth!! And she is blessed to have an Amazing mother!
(I hold your hopeful, faithful, fearful heart in mine. Squeezing tight, I love you so much Ash!) And prayers for the girl who walks out the door this morning with a smile as big and a heart as true as yours!!
Thank you, Mama, for your love and prayers. For standing in the gap with me for these girls.
You’ve expressed what is in my heart here. Mamas are the world changers, praying, speaking life, molding little hearts and lives. No success means as much to me as seeing my children, and now, granchildren, loving Jesus and walking in truth.
“I am a scared fighter-truth proclaimer, but fear will not hold me.”
I love you… and this – oh I so get this!
I am totally convinced that a mother’s love is the best love that comes even remotely close to the love of God. This is a love that can only sacrifice all and everything for the ones we love. We will gladly give up our lives for our children. We will starve to give them food, we will fiercely fight to protect them , but most important of all; we lay then at Jesus’ feet each and every day and we keep them there through prayer without fail.
You have me in tears once again sister friend :) I’m right there with you.
Yes, you are a fierce-hearted mother, whose love and commitment, grace and raw beauty is something extra special to behold.
Thank you for helping to prop me up. I am grateful.
Sweet friend, this has a heart beat of it’s very own, given generously from your very own flesh. Thank you for sharing your momma pain and momma suffering. Oh, we have all been there. You give one common voice to momma longing and momma heart cries. Beautiful, achingly so. May peace come to you and may you rest your weary bones tonight.
“I am a mother.
An in-the-gap stander. First responder. Defender. Advocate. Reminder. Nurturer. Life and light speaker.”
Sister, I stand in the gap with you. The truth, and the courage you share in the midst of your “right here” reminds us we’re not alone in ours. I love you!
It is difficult to express — because it is such a deep down satisfied knowing — what it means to me to mother with you. I love you, Sis.
Holy ground, friend. That’s where I feel I’m invited into as I read these impassioned words… you are a mother that I admire so deeply. I want to cry, and I am hushed, by the love and conviction, the vulnerability and strength in your words. In all that you are as a mother, sweetie, remember that you are enough. The Grace Giver has made you so. I lift you in my prayers this afternoon, and I am so proud of you.
Thank you, Amber. You continually bless me.